EPL
ha.. spent the better half of my Sat nite watching Barclays EPL =)
draft beer, wings, EPL and a few good company.
Arsenal scored equalizer against Tottingham at 2nd half towards end of the match.
fucking feels good =D
greedy me wished for 2-1 but too bad Arsenal not on form this season.
Liverpool vs West Ham 2-0. hah! =D unfortunately the pace was damn slow.... yawn.
Chelsea vs Blackburn 4-2. fcuk. i was tuned in to the concurrent Liverpool match.
missed those goals and action man! wah lan eh!
yes. that's me. SML, CBB, KNN... colorful phrases comes out with EPL. there you go =)
my frens were saying then only time you see Veen curse and swear colorfully is when she is pissed or she's watching EPL. woohoo~
what you want? days go on with or without exams. with or without assignments.
i'm not going to stress myself out jus coz of a fucking exam. sorry dudes!
do what you love or love what you do. i chose the former. do what i enjoy coz life is too short.
what's important is to be true to yourself.
life is one big wayang show. everyone can act.
2 cents.
rationality cannot be seperated from emotions.
many would disagree with me but i am fully convinced by this theory.
rationality not stand alone, simply because when we eliminate choices during decision making,
it is 95% driven by "i like it", "i don't like it".
after eliminating the choices that we do not like, then we rationally weigh the rest.
thus decision making is both a rational and emotional process.
as much as many people would like to think that they are logical and rational,
they have failed to look deeper into the decision making process.
many times, we are also guided by what is Intuition.
intuition is not a supernatural gift, but it is an accumulation of past experiences which we draw on to make sense of the current situation in order to make a snap decision.
love can never be totally objective or rational.
there is no check list that exist with 25 criteria to fulfil before liking someone. maybe 5.
yes, i do agree that we selectively vet out eligible partners through catergories of income, education, family background, religion etc.. we do narrow the gate.
however once across the gate, we 'allow' ourselves to fall in love with that person.
the thoery of social construction of reality tells us that we pick our partners from within our social circle. thus our partners would largely be people who have the same live experience as we do, come from same social class, went to same schools, have the same interests etc.
that explains why we often look for 'connection' at both an emotional and intellectual level.
thru that 'connection' derives that 'special feeling'.
why do i like you?
because i do. there's no why.
why do i bother about your life?
God's calling.
rain on you.
you were listening to Corrine May and thought of her again.
with the storm outside your window and the rain lashing by...
sometimes i have nothing to say to you, but i feel sad when i see you sad.
when i hear you sigh, i want to know what's weighing on your mind.
i know you miss her. i can't tell you to stop. i don't think you're foolish.
except i don't know what else to think or to say to you already.
maybe the break-up with her after one year is good for you.
i told you that God has plans for all of us and His door is never closed.
i'm very glad that you've quit smoking for a week and chewing on nicotine gum.
walk close to Lord Jesus, come back to His flock.
i'm glad you're reading books, novels and Newsweek.
i'm so afraid that your brain will degenerate into mush. thankfully not.
sometimes i wonder why do i care so much about what happens to your life...
coz it's YOUR life.
we alwiz say to each other "don't be silly".
think about it, we've never really threw temper or flared up at each other.
everytime something went wrong, we immediately apologized even it wasn't our fault.
everything's been tacful and diplomatic. why? "don't be silly." good advice.
i wonder why you like asking me about what i wrote about my latest paper, describe my content, share with you my analysis etc... why?
does that give you a sense of being involved in my life; of being around; of knowing me better?
you're just the same as Dad. never being there but kinda there. it's intangible anyway.
i was pondering on what you told me. about what you did with her.
i thought.. how can people be attracted to and interested in more than 1 person at a time?
isn't love and its concomitant responsibilities supposed to make love relationships special?
well.. i guess not. cross-cultural studies states that it is only in Western societies that establish a structure of binary opposite in relationships to maintain social order and render the institution of marriage as based on the Church as legitimate and sacred.
the notion of romantic love sells Hollywood movies, 'marry the one you love'. right...
in reality.. it is possible to love a few people at a time. marry someone you don't love but have a responsibility towards. love comes second to responsibilities towards family, society and self.
how can people have one nite stands with their best friends and move on with life?
why do some people intrude into other's blissful marriage to steal a partner?
why do others cheat on their spouse?
i think these are all possible. there's no answer to how can or why.
it just happens. primarily, human beings are self-centered creatures.
partly it's moral degradation, largely is coz people can never be totally sure of what they want.
thus they're often caught in a web of ambivalence. often, they're not ready to commit themselves and self-sacrifice to keep a relationship and/or marriage together too.
the self-interests prioritizes their pleasure higher than the commitment to a partner.
the end. divorce. extra-marital affairs. promiscuous sex. hurting somebody who loves you.
waffles.
You.
you tell the worse lame jokes but you made the best travel partner.
you knew what i loved. the TJC waffles with peanut butter.
you loved to dip ur nose into ice cream, a coffee and a smoke.
you stink all the time like a stale cigarette.
you were my soft cushion that suspense my fall. i clawed you to death on bad days.
Miss.
to miss means to be constantly thinking of.
to miss needs not be sad nor happy. it's a neutral emotion of vacant emptiness.
more than anything else, it is a sense of incomplete being.
i miss seeing you munch your food.
i miss seeing you smile when you see me.
i miss stroking your fur.
I.
i pod. i thought. i have nothing to say as usual.
a dedication
i could still cry when i think of you. it's been a good year together.
it's been many months already. it still hurts like a fresh wound.
i'm very sorry that i've hurt you so much so deeply. i can't get over it.
a walk in campus is never the same again, because there's no longer a destination.
there is no one for me to look forward to seeing. there was nothing to look forward to.
once upon a time it used to be meeting right after class, a pat on the head, going for lunch and coffee then rushing off to lessons again. i was happy. i hope you were happy too.
lately sitting alone in the lab, i look forward to your sms.
waiting hopefully that you'll say something caring. sometimes the wait doesn't come.
maybe the wait came and went.
Phuture reopened last nite.
you used to alwiz say Phuture reminds me of Jared,
then Velvet would remind me of you. coz we spent alot of clubbing nites there together.
we did build lovely memories together, however it was often overlooked.
trips we went on together. you driving and me whining.
shopping at Orchard hand in hand, you complaining about traffic and me looking at clothes.
having pizza at Holland Village and skipping class for Dim Sum is a thing of the past.
i hardly see you nowadays.
the hollow in your shoulders was my resting place. your chest was a shelter from the storm.
snuggling beside you was the highest form of security.
i never knew why i could fall asleep peacefully with you by my side except that i feel safe and protected.
you commented that i've mellowed down and seemed less happy.
maybe because there simply is nothing for me to be happy about,
and i'd rather keep quiet than say the wrong thing at the wrong time at the wrong place.
i used to nag at you for a whole lot of things.
from you wearing the same colored top as i did, you eating all the time, you not exercising, you not studying hard enough. you and your immatured jokes. then it went to the other extreme of you lacking an ambition and a drive.
i failed to accept you for who you are anymore.
i wanted you to become who i wanted you to be, comparing you against your peers.
to be successful, high-flying and ambitious. just like everyone else.
i failed to treasure the unassuming, loving Joshua for who he is. that simplicity within.
the Joshua who never bore grudges, was alwiz forgiving, alwiz taking me back into his arms when i fell down and hurt myself. he never said "i told you so". he only said "i love you still".
it is only when you lose something, then you'll see fully the goodness of what you lost.
serene's mudpie.
i finally can eat solid food!
goodbye to mush =D
hello to rice, vege and fish!
went down to Serene Center few nites ago,
they've got this Island Creamery there.
it's an ice cream shop right at the corner,
selling interesting flavours like Tiger Beer, Putu Hitam, ? , Chendol, Durian, Red beans etc..
i had a sinful mudpie. it was death by oreo cookies, chocolate and vanilla all at once lah! =)
got Josh a tub of Kahlua Latte ice cream. hahah.
heard from Don that Ben & Jerry's opened a stand at UE Sq. at Novena.
yep, organic ice cream from Vermont with playful flavours.
$4 just for ONE teeny weeny scoop.
double scoop is $7-8, $8.60 for sundae. ouch.
my lecturer told us that the Singaporean guy who brought the Ben & Jerry's franchise is..
a young man. yes. he submitted an impressive proposal and won the franchise dealership.
had to go to Vermont for training etc. wonder who this guy is.. watch for the rising star.
the chicken stall at the S11 near my placed closed down,
took over by another owner. shucks. such a pity.
their chicken and roast meats were damn good.
realized anything with lemon taste like detergent.
jus had pears with fresh lemon juice drizzled over it.
hmmm. nuances resembles detergent...
i cannot bake, sew, knit nor go gardening.
life-skills deficiency.
probably that'll give me something to do this Dec hols.
learn something useful like baking, sewing and something.
i can't even sew on a button. grumbles.
yes, i believe all human beings should be self-sufficient and able to wash the toilet bowl.
bread and roses.
eat!
i can talk now =D yay!
the medicine takes effect damn slowly,
or is it coz i've been skippin my doses?
still eating mush these days =P
papaya smoothie.. strawberry smoothie.. rockmelon smoothie..
it's my 3rd day having century egg porridge..!!! boring!!!
list of things i wanna eat:
spicy peranakan food. laksa. curry chicken.
crabs. prawns. fresh scallops. sashimi.
prawn noodles, poh piah, roast duck.
Bakerzin cakes. sandwich. shepherd's pie.
but...
exams. revisions. reports. essay.
tmd. i now understand what the Chinese pple meant by "being able to eat is a fortune".
Phuture reopens this coming Friday!!! woohoo! i can't eat but i can drink =)
not so wise tooth
my first wisdom tooth is cutting its way out through the upper gums.
now my right jaw is swollen.
i can't really chew my food.
i can't sleep on my right side.
i can't even yawn...!!!
went to the dentist this morning.
she told me that she there is nothing she can do to help,
except to let the tooth grow out fully before extracting it.
that would be next year...!!! tmd.
for now, she gave me painkillers, anti-swell pills and antiseptic mouthwash. $25 altogether.
great.
i can only eat mushy foods for the nex few days.
porridge and more porridge...
doesn't seem very appealing when you have it for lunch, breakfast and dinner.
Dad purposely went to buy nonya rice dumpling and bak-kwah, eat them before me grinning.
wtf?!
okay, least the world would be more silent these few days.
i can't talk much nor whine. darn it. let's see who will miss me.
doggie doggie.
thank u
Love prevails against all odds.
